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"Captain," mumbles Ricky Hall, the barber, into his dark brown full beard, bends over the table from his worn red Chesterfield armchair and tips both of them a good shot of Bay Rum into the Earl Grey, "Your EdP has disappointed me." Captain Fawcett twists his moustache and pulls up his left eyebrow, while he watches his counterpart in disbelief rubbing an orange peel into his drinks. "No, sorry, but if you want to make an impression with a real scent, you have to come up with something." ricky hisses, dips his cigar in honey and lights it discreetly with a huge, fiercely smoking incense stick. "Now smell the tea!" hums Hall. The captain also leans over the table to carefully smell the rum, bergamot and orange zest over the cup as Ricky puts the incense stick on his saucer and blows some honey smoke into his face. "That's a top note, isn't it?" the barber grins and begins to dip his glowing cigar tip into soft, resinous maple benzoin.
Captain Fawcett leans back: "This smells spicy, resinous, balsamic." "And smokes pretty good, doesn't he, Captain?" the barber interrupts him, "and now there's something green!" Ricky throws a sticky lump of galban resin into the ashtray and holds his Zippo to it. "Well, what do you say, Captain?"
Fawcett opens his tie: "Yes, green, but also resinous!" "Hall says pregnant with meaning, squeezes the warm, soft maple benzo with the hot fork into the galbanum mass and mixes a delicious vanilla pod under it, sprinkles some thyme and coriander on it and pushes the whole thing next to the teacup. "What do you say now?"
Fawcett seems quite obviously amazed: "That's...smoky, masculine, resinous, but also spicy sweet, but not too sweet, that's...", the captain leans back relaxed again, he can barely recognize the barber through all the haze, so he closes his eyes. Several hours pass in which both surrender to the wafting scents, which lose themselves only extremely slowly in resinous, balsamic warmth. "...great!" Fawcett finally finishes his sentence. "I want to capture this fragrance for eternity! The men should be able to wear it in autumn, winter and spring whenever and wherever they want. But they shouldn't wear too much of it, that's what we should tell them. You can smell them against all the sea winds. This liquid gold shall bear your name, Barber!"
"Respect, Captain!" says the barber and adds, "We call him booze and cigarettes, OK?"