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Very helpful Review 41
Dr. Sommer helps
Questions everyone asks themselves.
The "explanation" is often the solution.
In addition the Best of from our editorship.
Dear Dr. Sommer Team,
i have a problem.
BEATE, 17:
Months ago, I slept with my boyfriend for the first time. But I've never had an orgasm before. I often had a great feeling, but I've never been really high. Some girls scream, even lose consciousness for seconds. Or isn't that the norm?
"Dear Beate,
if you want to scream at the same time, then please wear your friend Déclaration from Cartier. Here the scream comes almost by itself and also quite often one becomes unconscious. There is so much mugwort in it that flies to you in the beginning already around the ears, there you are also high of. First it looks fresh, but then it gets really bitter"
JULIAN,14:
Dear Dr. Sommer, I would like to sleep with my girlfriend for the first time soon. A buddy told me that the hymen bursts in the process. Now I'm afraid my parents will wake up from the bang and catch us!
"Dear Julian,
that's not a problem. Give your father a bottle of Cartier Déclaration. He will certainly show them to your mother and both of them will be so bad that they won't hear the bang at all." That stuff suddenly smells so bad like old curd soap and that lasts a while, they don't come from the toilet so fast."
ANNA, 15:
In my clique, girls talk a lot about sex. Recently, they've been talking about pretending to have an orgasm. But no one knew exactly how to do it. Can you tell us?
Dear Anna,
It's very simple. Wear a drop of Cartier Déclaration in bed and you'll make sounds that will be very similar. Wait especially if the oakmoss makes it really musty, but be careful not to take too much, otherwise you sound more like a shizophrenic monkey child."
EVA, 15:
I've had funny pimples downstairs for a while now. They're like the ones you sometimes have on your tongue. Is that something sick? I also smell awful of fish. Does this have something to do with this rash?
"Dear Eva,
don't worry, there's something from Rathiopharm, or you'll rub yourself right in with Déclaration from Cartier. The pimples will flee and you stink like an old musty curd soap, or floor wax in old barracks, what you have thrown on pepper and rot in the basement. But still better than fish,right?
Kevin, 13:
I've discovered something funny about myself and I don't know if it's all right. Recently I tried to satisfy myself and my penis jumped up and down on its own in a stiff state for quite a while. Why does my penis move by itself?
"Dear Kevin,
the hop is actually a consenting nod. You can turn that off, though. Just take a bottle of Déclaration from Cartier and just keep hitting it on your little friend. But be careful not to break it, the sweaty liquid on your boyfriend would make sure you won't have oral sex for the rest of your life."
Manfred, 36:
I still live with my mother and I've never had a girlfriend. Now I read that Cartier's Déclaration should be used to seduce women. Is that true?
"Dear Manfred,
that's right. You only need to throw a full bottle on the street, if you can't fall unconscious and still run into your house, you have a good chance. Just make sure it doesn't look like a poison gas attack. Oh, and send Mommy out on the street first, then you'll be storm-free."
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