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Ho Ho Ho!
Dear Santa Claus, how are you?
Santa Claus: Ho. Ho, Ho, at the moment it's a bit stressful, I have a lot to do, soon it's going to be round and there's a lot to prepare. Santa Claus is just like people. I long now for the time of rest between the years.
Which gifts are particularly in demand this year?
Santa Claus: Ho, Ho, Ho, toy trains don't work anymore. You have to put it this way. These are just isolated cases. Otherwise only perfumes and electronics are running. Actually, I should have thrown Christmas on the market as a video game this year. Merchandising, you understand. But the Americans and the Chinese beat us to it. For years I have had to live there with tough competition. The Santa Claus Inc. has teamed up with a shower company and terrorizes the whole continent with Jingel Bells. Meanwhile the Americans have released "Santa Claus - Holy Shit" and the Chinese have even released "Santa Claus 2 - Holy Snow Race" as a computer game. But admittedly, Coca-Cola recognized my great talent and signed me in 1931.
And what of Knecht Ruprecht and the Christ Child?
Santa Claus: Yes, I know them, they are also in my line of business, so you might run into each other. The servant Ruprecht is the assistant of Saint Nicholas, so to speak his sidekick. Like Batman & Robin. When he's out with Niki, he's quite a bad guy - that's his job - but he's actually quite nice. Niki soon has his big day and is just terribly under stress, the old Boots Lover!
The Christkind does the same job as me, mainly in Switzerland, Austria. They know it in Germany, too. The people of Nuremberg have known their famous Christmas market after him.
Why don't you work as a joint venture with the Christ Child?
Santa Claus: Let's do it. I'm even allowed to say Chrissy and he calls me Christmas.
We met at a time management workshop. Then we also took part together in the mulled wine meeting for team building. But I can't remember much about that. So far the teamwork works well.
Which perfumes are in such high demand at the moment?
Santa Claus: All kinds of mostly more expensive fragrances. I've also started to produce a perfume now and wanted to market it as Santa Claus Extreme, but my gnomes thought the name could be misleading because of my stature. I have now sold the license to distribute to Hermes.
And we can imagine the scent?
Santa Claus: Well, I'd say the way you imagine the winter time, or the Christmas time, as the case may be. It's cozy, cozy and sweet. I have tried to use as much as possible typical winter aromas.
When you spray it on, you will automatically think of this time, it starts with a good pinch of cinnamon and caramel followed by vanilla. The great thing is that you think you are sitting in front of a baked apple, which I particularly like, but without raisins. Children will think of grandma's kitchen, adults of the time with the family under the Christmas tree. Then I mixed a light rum note under it, because the parents like to lift one and it is also baked a lot with rum.
Sounds good to me. So a cinnamon/ rum scent?
Santa Claus: Yes, too, the clou is the honey and benzoin, which makes the whole thing a bit thicker. The rest I did like cooking, a little incense here, a little musk there, but only a little of everything. Rudolph was very enthusiastic, he also ate all the sesame away. Just imagine a baked apple with cinnamon in vanilla sauce, you will nibble on yourself. On the other hand... do you know the movie "American Pie"?
Uh, yeah. Some claim that you don't even exist because theoretically you would have to visit 822.6 houses per second. Even DHL or Hermes can't do that.
Santa Claus: Nonsense. I'm a seasonal worker. They can do it. Take a look at the asparagus peelers in summer. They're real heroes. I solve the time problem with the relativity clouds in the space-time continuum.
What do you want for Christmas?
Santa Claus: Ho, Ho, Ho, world peace, of course. We are also committed to the two-degree goal of global warming, otherwise our sled teams won't make any progress due to the lack of snow. Tolerance would also be nice and that not everyone always sees everything so seriously. Having my perfume cheaper is also an option. But I have made sure that it lasts at least very long if you wear it, so that you get what for your money. Out the back, I let it get a little powdery.
What if a house doesn't have a fireplace? Is your elevator anyway already difficult to get in over the?
Santa Claus: Oh there are different possibilities. I do that with my Christmas app. It shows me which houses in the Duisburg district do not have a chimney and suggests an alternative route via pipelines. The parcels are then sent as tube mail and as soon as they have arrived, a "You have reached your Christmas tree" sounds on my mobile phone at WhatsweihnachtsApp. You have to keep up with the times.
Would you like to greet someone else?
Santa Claus: Ilovecoffee and Cafenoir which have helped me to the fragrance and all my dear friends here which I wish now, even if it is quite early a great time in December.
Ho Ho Ho!