03/27/2022

MrHonest
94 Reviews

MrHonest
2
Eur-a-peein'
Picture this. A suited-and-booted man enters a vacant loo with a determined aura and leather satchel strapped across one shoulder. He walks straight up to the middle urinal - but instead of undoing his zipper and taking care of business, he slllllowly squats down until he's eye-to-eye with a little white cylinder lovingly resting on the glinting porcelain in front of him. He glances left...he glances right...making sure that nobody is watching as he reaches into his satchel and withdrawls a small plastic squeeze bottle half-filled with lightly coloured golden honey. It's not the expensive kind, but a small token from the break room at lunch and enough to flavour a drab cup of steaming tea on a slow day. With a single graceful movement, he reaches forward, upends the bottle and squeezes a thin stream of sweet deliciousness onto the eroded white mass. He withdrawls....chances one more glance around the room before licking his lips, closing his eyes, leaning forward, and taking the deepest inhale of his life.
The spicy and vaguely antiseptic florals fill his nostrils with pure joy, mingling beautifully with the thin layer of refined honey and lingering aroma of bathroom soap and stale urine that permeate the room. THIS is what it's all about - the moments when he can savour the goodness - the MOMENTS that remind him of who he is and what he can do. And as the man leans back, eyes closed and a massive grin upon his face...the bathroom door suddenly bursts open, jarring him out of his reverie and nearly knocking him on his ass as he scrambles to his feet.
The incoming gentleman pauses at the door, the blank expression on his face a result of just witnessing what appeared to be another man apparently squatting in front of a urinal and nearly toppling over in an attempt to deflect attention from his bizzare state. "Everything ok Mr. H?" asks the man. "Of course, of course Daniel." says the squatter. "I was just...examining the ahh....", his sentence quickly trailing off into awkward obscurity. Mr. H nervously shuffles over to the sink and hastens to wash his hands, avoiding making eye contact with his interuptor at all costs - even in the mirror. He quickly and roughly dries his hands on a brown paper towel and walks past the man, still rooted to the same spot, apparently unable to move out of bewildered amusement.
Out in the hall, Mr. H takes a deep breath. He needn't have worried. After all, he IS the boss - number one in a company that he's owned for nearly 37 years. He was an American before he entered that bathroom, and he remains one now that he's left. And regardless of what Daniel THINKS he may have seen, nobody would believe him if he told. His status and salary doesn't even compare. Nevertheless, a certain amount of caution seems warranted. He SHOULD be careful next time. And as he makes his way back to his office, the smirk already returning to his clean-shaven visage, he can't help but wonder where he smelled that wonderful smell before... the perfect scent he thinks, for Mr. Honeybunny.
Back in the bathroom, Daniel finally shakes off his stupor. His gaze immediately returns to the urinal that his crazy boss apparently found so interesting. As if in a daze, he cautiously makes his way over and glances down into its grimey depths. There, upon the crumbling white urinal cake below, rests a curious mound of yellow gel that somehow seems out of place. But of course, he knows the scent well. He's been wearing it ever since he started in the company. And as a devious smile crosses his youthful face, he glances left....he glances right....and slllllowly begins to squat down.....
The spicy and vaguely antiseptic florals fill his nostrils with pure joy, mingling beautifully with the thin layer of refined honey and lingering aroma of bathroom soap and stale urine that permeate the room. THIS is what it's all about - the moments when he can savour the goodness - the MOMENTS that remind him of who he is and what he can do. And as the man leans back, eyes closed and a massive grin upon his face...the bathroom door suddenly bursts open, jarring him out of his reverie and nearly knocking him on his ass as he scrambles to his feet.
The incoming gentleman pauses at the door, the blank expression on his face a result of just witnessing what appeared to be another man apparently squatting in front of a urinal and nearly toppling over in an attempt to deflect attention from his bizzare state. "Everything ok Mr. H?" asks the man. "Of course, of course Daniel." says the squatter. "I was just...examining the ahh....", his sentence quickly trailing off into awkward obscurity. Mr. H nervously shuffles over to the sink and hastens to wash his hands, avoiding making eye contact with his interuptor at all costs - even in the mirror. He quickly and roughly dries his hands on a brown paper towel and walks past the man, still rooted to the same spot, apparently unable to move out of bewildered amusement.
Out in the hall, Mr. H takes a deep breath. He needn't have worried. After all, he IS the boss - number one in a company that he's owned for nearly 37 years. He was an American before he entered that bathroom, and he remains one now that he's left. And regardless of what Daniel THINKS he may have seen, nobody would believe him if he told. His status and salary doesn't even compare. Nevertheless, a certain amount of caution seems warranted. He SHOULD be careful next time. And as he makes his way back to his office, the smirk already returning to his clean-shaven visage, he can't help but wonder where he smelled that wonderful smell before... the perfect scent he thinks, for Mr. Honeybunny.
Back in the bathroom, Daniel finally shakes off his stupor. His gaze immediately returns to the urinal that his crazy boss apparently found so interesting. As if in a daze, he cautiously makes his way over and glances down into its grimey depths. There, upon the crumbling white urinal cake below, rests a curious mound of yellow gel that somehow seems out of place. But of course, he knows the scent well. He's been wearing it ever since he started in the company. And as a devious smile crosses his youthful face, he glances left....he glances right....and slllllowly begins to squat down.....