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In another life
I'm at a red light with my 68hp super scooter. I am quite late and therefore impatient. I look around and see you. I immediately have a stone in my stomach.
The last time I saw you, you tormented me very much and smiled bravely. See you soon, you said, but it was goodbye forever I had no idea what pain it was for you to be near me. We met in a phonetics class. We quickly became friends, since we had the same kind of humor, liked the same bands and had similar interests. You used to laugh when I imitated the professor. I laughed when you told jokes. We exchanged books and discussed them during the breaks I was so happy to have found a real friend. One you can fight through the college craziness with. I didn't realize I was more for you. I probably should have realized it, but I never had a feeling for it before. I didn't realize that your hugs with me always lasted a little longer than with the other students. I didn't notice the way you smelled my hair. When you kissed my hand to greet me, I thought it was a joke and laughed. You always sat down with me and as if by chance our arms touched or your book was accidentally lying at home and we had to put our heads together over my copy.
At some point, after many joint lectures and seminars, you couldn't stand it any longer. You always hoped that I would come to you and turn you and me into a we But it didn't. So you left. Dropped out of school, out of my life I was sad, but I understood
Now you stand there and wait for the pedestrian light to turn green. You look good. Tall, still athletic, the dark hair and the well-groomed beard frame your face. Your outrageously long eyelashes only hide a small part of your smart, shining eyes. You are wearing a fancy suit and a briefcase. You look nervously at your watch. I wonder if you still smell of Hugo. Because that used to be your smell. So many have worn it, but for me, that smell will always be associated with you. Fresh, spicy, a little woody. Very 90s style - but it looked so good on you.
I don't know what I would like more: For you to see me and I can smile at you one more time, or for you to walk past me without paying attention.
That's when you gave me a mix tape. I didn't know that was part of your courtship. You played your favorite Metallica song on it. I'm nervous, so I turn on the radio.
Sometimes there are such coincidences in life - and on this day one thing had to happen that I see you here. I had to be late, otherwise I was a painfully punctual person. A road was closed and I was diverted. And now the radio station is playing "Nothing else matters". You look up. You recognize me. You shine at me and wave I wave back, smiling slightly hesitantly. For your eyes are sad again after the great surprise and joy of seeing me again. You walk past me with your head bowed. On the other side of the street you turn around and look at me. You smile bravely. You look at me for a long time, then you touch your chest with your right hand. On the heart. I have tears in my eyes and a lump in my throat. So I don't realize that my light has turned green. I don't hear the horn behind me either. You laugh out loud and point at the light. I get a fright, then I start driving. But before I do, I'll take a quick look at you. Still smiling bravely
In another life, you told me then. So long.