Joop! Homme (Eau de Toilette) by Joop!

Joop! Homme 1989 Eau de Toilette

16.02.2013 - 12:35 AM

Good longevity is good. Nuclear longevity?

Every few months I make the same mistake. While on a trip to either Whole Foods or Trader Joe's, I stop by TJMaxx and take a gander at the perfume aisle. This has become quite dangerous in 2013, as my New Year's Resolution is not to purchase any new bottles until I've reviewed everything in my home. Yet again, upon my arrival, I espied a 100 ml bottle of Penhaligon's VIOLETTA beckoning me to buy. It was there two weeks ago, and I almost succumbed to the temptation then. Today it was easier to walk on by, as it is clear that TJMaxx customers are not big fans of Penhaligon's. So now I know that it's going to be sitting there quite a while longer, and at some point be marked down to an even more absurdly low price. But none of this was the mistake to which I referred above.

No, the mistake I make every so often is recklessly to test one of the fragrances on its way out of the store in a price-slashed gift set previously opened by some other curious customer. Every time I do this, I end up with spritzer's remorse. Today's selection: Joop! JOOP! HOMME.

My sense is that this was a good perfume once upon a time but that now it is a mere muzak-chemical shadow of itself. It's rather sweet and could be interpreted as a coffee-esque scent, I suppose. But it now has a Coty chemical smell to it which causes me to wonder whether I might be poisoning myself by wearing it. As I walked around the store for a few minutes, I began to regret that I had ruined my scent of the day experience, Creed VANISIA, by spraying JOOP! HOMME on the backs of my hands. The scent became stronger and stronger and quickly overwhelmed the VANISIA on my wrists and décolleté. After several minutes, I could not take it anymore and headed for the ladies' room, where I attempted to scrub the stuff off.

I say "attempted" because a generous, thorough sudsing followed by a long rinse did not remove JOOP! HOMME from my hands. As I made my way to Whole Foods the scent began to reassert itself, eventually enveloping my body again. Remember the "cone of silence" from Maxwell Smart? Well, I was moving around in a "cone of JOOP! HOMME".

Once in the snacking section of Whole Foods, which is the cheese department, since they always have bowls of cubed cheese lying about for people like me who go to the grocery store while hungry, I noticed that JOOP! HOMME had really zapped my appetite. I headed to the restroom again and scrubbed my hands once more. Upon emerging, I realized that the scent was still there. I went to the beauty section and applied a strongly almond scented cream to my hands, rubbing it in and relieved that it seemed to be covering the scent.

Alas, as soon as the cream had soaked in, JOOP! HOMME began another resurgence. I am all for good longevity, but nuclear longevity is way too scary for me, and now I must end this not very descriptive review to go soak in a hot tub. What does it smell like? you may still be wondering. Well, like none of the listed notes plus a bunch of sweet chemicals. In a word: yuck.
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