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Karl Ranseier is dead!
Karl Ranseier is dead!
Probably the most unsuccessful jockey of all time, he already noticed unpleasantly at birth when he galloped himself after a spin in the birth canal and took an unfortunate second place. Thereupon he switched to Formula 1 drivers. Already his grandmother saw his talent, drove a motorcycle with Karl in the chicken coop and fed him Ferrari kisses.
Early on, a second passion developed from horse to perfume. After he discovered a perfume almanac he threw out all designer scents from Douglas and thought he was better and carried his nose very high, so he didn't fit in a helmet for a long time.
If he used to like to wear Dior or Chanel again, it wasn't good enough anymore.
He had his own stud early on, but bet on the wrong horse.
When he was eighteen, Ranseier bought his driving licence on Ebay and shortly afterwards cleaned the Mercedes for Sauber-Mercedes.
When his career faltered he discovered that he had pepper in his ass and immediately told his iris. She was impressed, even if she raved about a rider from the Lalique White Team, it was too cheap like Ranseier, even if they were more successful and stronger.
Since he only wore the most popular scents from the exclusive scent houses, so that everyone liked him and found him great, he could also convince Iris to stay.
But then he got his chance to finally get behind the wheel. He signed with Benetton-Pollunder and was fastest in the first season at the Grand Prix de Eurovision with the title Watergallowayloo. He celebrated this with champagne tears and Smurfli(e)der.
Thereupon he founded his own racing team: Ranseier-Marly and soon after celebrated his....... Birthday.
For this he took the fresh scent of an expensive scented house. He was annoyed about inferior atomizers and attached shower heads to his flacons. So he felt fresh and free.
His first bolide was made of wood, which he immediately painted white and painted on a horse without a pencil. He always had fresh flowers on his dashboard.
He also revolutionised motor sport outside the racetrack. He was the first to develop the winning escalator, the rear boiler and the wheel. He used his drive apart from his pepper with amber and musk.
Although all the others failed at the 2005 Spa Grand Prix, he couldn't win because all his chess pieces fell from the chequered flag and he didn't have enough Bums in his tank. It took him almost six hours to complete this race. His iris was at his side the whole time.
Throughout his life Ranseier tried to calculate Formula 1. He didn't come to any conclusion.
Ranseier's hobby was when someone was underwater in movies to hold his breath to see if he had survived. He always wore his beloved perfume, but that stupidly always tickled him in the nose.
Karl Ranseier died yesterday on the couch while he was looking at Finding Nemo.