Sport 9.0 by Zara

Sport 9.0

18.08.2021 - 10:46 PM

SMell mY FiNGer.

Prepare yourself...for the weirdness. Honestly, at first, I didn't know what to think. Saw a couple of Spanish reviews on the good 'ol YT and since it was running for half price, why not have a go? It can't be that bad right? Well....

Before I get into the scent, let's just talk about the bottle. CHEAP. Is the word. Look, I'm a huge fan of Zara's regular bottles - RWA, UFS, Orange Zest, you know the one - Boss Bottled-ish with a black clicking cap and a very decent atomizer. But THIS on another level. Just take the regular bottle, cover it in some crappy metallic nonsense with a crease down each side; then make a plastic version of that same metal for the cap - that weighs less than the standard ones btw - and doesn't even CLICK...and top it off by putting the worst atomizer you can imagine on the sucker. Awful, awful stuff. Anyway, about the scent...

Weird. It's weird ok. I don't know WHAT Zara was thinking not putting iris in the notes, because the original 9.0 base is DEFINITELY in there, right from the first blast. But what begins to happen a few seconds in is difficult to describe. First, with that 9.0 always there in the background, a cheap bergamot zing pops in with that same Tang-esque powdered mandarin orange that you get in Vibrant Leather Summer, or perhaps something like Zara's w/end till 3:00 am (which I despise). And it just doesn't fit. Like, NOT - AT - ALL. No ginger or spices to be found either.

Second, within just a few minutes of the first spray, a very strange accord begins to form that I've never smelled before. At first, it's vaguely reminiscent of fresh popcorn being made way off in the distance, but very quickly turns into what I can only describe as melted butter. You read correctly. And not the delicious, savoury stuff you might smell at the movie theater, but REAL melted butter. And if you've ever smelled it, it's nasty; almost nauseating.

So here's what we have so far - you spray 9.0 Sport on with that terrible sprayer and immediately get a whiff of 9.0 - niiice - iris, the works, no complaints. Then some cheap citruses show up that smell like they came straight out of a paper packet and don't even manage to blend into the rest of the notes...Not great, but do-able. Then quite suddenly, here comes the butter!...and I'm thinking to myself, "wtf?" Gross! Honestly, you can't make this stuff up. If I didn't know better, I swear it's like you're in the middle of baking a f*ing cake.

Just imagine getting yourself a small bowl, pour a couple ml of 9.0 in the bottom, smother it with half a stick of melted butter and then chuck some Tang crystals on the top, without even bothering to mix it. Dip your phalange into that sucker and ask someone to smell your finger. That's what this smells like. Yeah, weird. Luckily the craziness only lasts for about 45 minutes before it settles into something slightly more bareable, and eventually you just end up with a bare-bones 9.0 on your skin that projects moderately for about 4-5 hours. Think Armaf's Futura la Homme but a bit sweeter and far weaker.

But does it smell like DHS 2017? Hell no. It smells like you tried to layer 9.0 and failed. Don't know what all this creamy citrus is about either, because it certainly ain't that. More like cream PLUS citrus - like stale buttery cream...anyway I can't talk about it anymore cause it's....yuck. What can I say? If you like baking sh*tty cakes with terrible ingredients this could be your thing! Otherwise, don't bother. Really. Just go with the original 9.0 and be happy. I paid half price and it ain't worth even that. 5 bucks maybe, but that's pushing it....Significantly better on paper, but overall, still one of Zara's worst. What a GREAT birthday this has been. Just great.

Update: I figured it out!! I knew that candied citrus-and-iris combo reminded me of something! Those small multicoloured marshmallows!!! You know the ones that come in a clear plastic bag that you get at the grocery store? Bust open a bag of those suckers and take a whiff! What strange inspiration...

Latest Reviews

MrHonestMrHonest 4 months ago
Jaïpur Homme (Eau de Parfum) - Boucheron

Jaïpur Homme (Eau de Parfum) The Golden Beauty
I can't deny that it took me a while to come around to this scent. Back when I was just starting out, I sniffed the edt along with Boucheron's Pour Homme (which immediately gave me Azzaro Pour Homme vibes) and wasn't convinced. It reminded me too much...

MrHonestMrHonest 4 months ago
78 Vintage Green - Banana Republic

78 Vintage Green The DReaM tea.
Easily one of the best inexpensive designer freshies made in the last decade. Opens up with such a wonderful Ellena-esque, crisp bergamot and sweet fig that the comparison with Un Jardin en Mediterranee is unmistakable. Although the quality isn't...