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01/07/2021
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Lightning commentary: Legal advice
PROFESSIONAL NOTICE (from the language lawyer)
Lawyer can mean (legal) lawyer, ergo advocate, but also merely lawyer in general: A judge is also a lawyer, but a judge is not a lawyer. In Denmark, the homeland of Zarko, there is indeed, as we know from Hamlet, something rotten in the state, but whether in the court system or the bar association, is not handed down and therefore we do not know for sure what kind of Lawyern Ahlmann (second first or first surname?) was thinking of here. We base the rest of this on the lawyer hypothesis.
PROFESSIONAL ACHIEVABILITY (from the business detective)
Although this advocate's office is said to have opened only last year, it appears to have already closed. On the international website zarkoperfume.com as well as on the one for the German client zarkoperfume.de the contact details of this lawyer are not (anymore?) published. We pose two criminalistic hypotheses: (1) Based on the assumption that Pavlov has a close relationship with his lawyer and that, according to his website, which is in miserable German, he (i.e. the master of the commonly known dog) has neither a proper interpreter nor a quality translation machine, the lawyer could have already gone bankrupt. (2) The advocate could already be in custody because of his own delinquency (see below: BERUFSDELIKT) or could have been banned from practicing his profession.
PROFESSIONAL DISCLAIMER (from headhunter)
Upon first acquaintance, the attorney presents himself as sly and unwashed by all waters. The citrusy fresh handshake is simply skipped (as unnecessary fumbling), the odeur of white chocolate (with increased cream content) already on record by colleague Cravache provides the requisite cloying sneakiness, which is paired with a viciously pungent, but not quite fathomable, sometimes kitchen-spicy, sometimes lab-derived backcrotchness.
If the impression of a quite grated and polished representative of his stand arises at first, the soufflé decompensates. After barely an hour, the lawyer reveals himself as a mere legal counsel, as he does nothing but stand by inconspicuously and spread a diffusely fresh-spicy-artwoody PVC aura. He contributes no ideas of his own, is sometimes in bondage to the client, sometimes to the judge, and is therefore promptly dismissed.
A firm clientele could not acquire the law firm in the too rather short time of its existence, meanwhile it is rumored, it worked temporarily for a certain tycoon from the London district St. Giles. In the process, certain olfactory characteristics would have rubbed off, albeit in a caricatured, flattened manner.
PROFESSIONAL DELICOTE (from the Crown Prosecutor)
Assuming that the lawyer had charged a fee rate of 129 euros at the time, as is the case with other service providers of the Ahlmann agency, both a court of honour and a criminal procedure would have to be initiated ex officio due to excessive sporting (now: excessive fees, § 352 StGB) in view of his service provision, which was inadequate in every respect.
Lawyer can mean (legal) lawyer, ergo advocate, but also merely lawyer in general: A judge is also a lawyer, but a judge is not a lawyer. In Denmark, the homeland of Zarko, there is indeed, as we know from Hamlet, something rotten in the state, but whether in the court system or the bar association, is not handed down and therefore we do not know for sure what kind of Lawyern Ahlmann (second first or first surname?) was thinking of here. We base the rest of this on the lawyer hypothesis.
PROFESSIONAL ACHIEVABILITY (from the business detective)
Although this advocate's office is said to have opened only last year, it appears to have already closed. On the international website zarkoperfume.com as well as on the one for the German client zarkoperfume.de the contact details of this lawyer are not (anymore?) published. We pose two criminalistic hypotheses: (1) Based on the assumption that Pavlov has a close relationship with his lawyer and that, according to his website, which is in miserable German, he (i.e. the master of the commonly known dog) has neither a proper interpreter nor a quality translation machine, the lawyer could have already gone bankrupt. (2) The advocate could already be in custody because of his own delinquency (see below: BERUFSDELIKT) or could have been banned from practicing his profession.
PROFESSIONAL DISCLAIMER (from headhunter)
Upon first acquaintance, the attorney presents himself as sly and unwashed by all waters. The citrusy fresh handshake is simply skipped (as unnecessary fumbling), the odeur of white chocolate (with increased cream content) already on record by colleague Cravache provides the requisite cloying sneakiness, which is paired with a viciously pungent, but not quite fathomable, sometimes kitchen-spicy, sometimes lab-derived backcrotchness.
If the impression of a quite grated and polished representative of his stand arises at first, the soufflé decompensates. After barely an hour, the lawyer reveals himself as a mere legal counsel, as he does nothing but stand by inconspicuously and spread a diffusely fresh-spicy-artwoody PVC aura. He contributes no ideas of his own, is sometimes in bondage to the client, sometimes to the judge, and is therefore promptly dismissed.
A firm clientele could not acquire the law firm in the too rather short time of its existence, meanwhile it is rumored, it worked temporarily for a certain tycoon from the London district St. Giles. In the process, certain olfactory characteristics would have rubbed off, albeit in a caricatured, flattened manner.
PROFESSIONAL DELICOTE (from the Crown Prosecutor)
Assuming that the lawyer had charged a fee rate of 129 euros at the time, as is the case with other service providers of the Ahlmann agency, both a court of honour and a criminal procedure would have to be initiated ex officio due to excessive sporting (now: excessive fees, § 352 StGB) in view of his service provision, which was inadequate in every respect.
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