MrFumejunkie

Aside from a humiliating & emasculating pink bandage that was swiftly removed he's doing really great, thanks for asking. Stitches coming out on Friday. Photos to follow (of him, not it).

Thank you for your reply, MrFumeJ, it is indeed a very good match, the devil on your picture definitely looks a lot happier tugging at his beard, than when I met him back then in Lübeck ;-)

Ding dong operation scheduled for next Tuesday. After that it'll be the cone of shame until it's healed.
If you hear a loud snip early Tuesday morning, shed a tear for my wee man.

And sadly no, he will not be "getting any." Even when he had balls he never showed much interest in using them. He's kind of like a perfect, beautiful eunuch, except from Tuesday afternoon on he won't be quite as well hung. Or, as the vet put it "we'll have to snip his pee pee."

Not used to talking about doggies winkies before noon? WELCOME TO IRELAND, BRUV!

I would go into the details, but they're...oh who am I kidding I'm only dying to share... basically being genetically blessed isn't all it's cooked up to be because the skin surrounding it is too big and has a habit of turning inside out and trapping "it" out in the open so "it" just hangs there getting steadily redder and redder and bigger and bigger. It's really quite obscene in a "won't somebody think of the children"/ "jesus I hope nobody can see this" kind of way. Also I will never quite get over having to go into a chemist say "Can I have some KY Jelly? It's...em...it's for my dog."

So the excess skin needs to be snipped and then apparently then "it" will happily stay inside where it's supposed to be.

He's also a virgin. Poor bastard.

Thanku :-) He was at the vet yesterday and has to get an operation on his ding-dong because it's anatomically abnormal. Naturally I'm PROUD AS FOOK to finally have it confirmed by a (jealous male) vet (who wishes he was as genetically blessed as my well hung wee man) that I am the mother of a porn star.

Ain't no judging here. I've been to LANDAIN a few times, but never for long. Keep putting off a revisit for the same reasons you cite about Dublin. It's right there innit? Can go anytime. I do want to go at some point for to visit a specific tattoo artist, but all in good time. Hope you and yours were safe and okay after the recent shitstorms there, must be absolutely terrifying.

You could always try Masterchef Ireland? I don't mean to sully the reputation of my fine country, but I'm pretty sure they've had people on it that can poach a mean egg and serve it on heated slightly crispy bread onto which has been spread I can't believe it's not butter. One guy got thrown off because he couldn't tell the difference between prawn cocktail crisps and, well, prawn cocktail.

Those bastards! May their cakes forever have soggy bottoms and may their sauces always curdle.

Oops, clip ons, 'scuse me. Nice helmet. I have a bike too, but it ain't gotten much use recently and needs to go for a clean up.

And this looks absolutely fucking delicious: https://www.instagram.com/p/BTO46V0D2X_/

Thanks a million, thanks a lot:-)))