SmellsFargoSmellsFargo's Perfume Reviews

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SmellsFargo 2 months ago 1
9.5
Scent
8
Longevity
8
Sillage
9
Bottle
New Game +
Your character is spec'd out to the max; yes even the luck attribute. You spent 50 hours alone on side quests (remember you have to rescue that lady's cat from the tree and it turned out you uncovered a sex trafficking ring ran by A dragon panda bear?) And another 40 grinding the Cave if Foreskin, and 14 spent on the actual storyline, for this exact moment; the boss lair.

After another half an hour of battling waves and waves of the hardest enemies in the entire game (and most difficult to boot) you see it; the boss door. The game tells you that beyond this door you are no longer able to upgrade or finish any side missions afterwards, you decide that you're ready anyway.

Open the door, in a cutscene cues as the camera pans around the room; invaluable paintings thought ti have been lost to time impeccably hung on the walls, a piano made of the finest mahogany and elephant tusk known to man, all the while lost upon your gaze are the cornucopia of people mingling about, from senators, to actors, to regular blue collar folk, just living a life as care free as can be.

You then start to hear the clacking noise from upstairs; the sounds of footsteps. The camera zooms up a long flight of marble stairs, only to see a young man standing there. The camera pans him up and down; hair impeccably slicked back and yet in a coif, a black suit tailored to die for, a bulge that's reminiscent of someone trying to smuggle a carton of Parliament lights, and a pair of burnt orange shoes so shiny that the wicked is which asked who's the fairest of them all.


As you get ready to challenge the final boss, he cuts through the tension in the air and asked if you want a bottle of water, with the caveat being "hey sorry my assistant called out sick so I haven't had anyone to run my errands so you're going to get handed a bottle of Costco bottled water and I hope that's okay"

You're mentally disarmed as this guy is sinister, dare I say satanic, yet he's incredibly suave profusely amiable and his charm attribute is definitely maxed the fuck out.

Let him know that you're there to kill him to avenge the destruction of your village and to save the world, and in return he rebuffs your challenge and says that there's no need to fight, when you get a shockingly strong sense of sincerity coming from his voice. He said that it's all a big misunderstanding, to which you will have nothing about.

After your repeated denial of his advances of friendship and amicable parting, he begrudgingly sighs and agrees to your duel. "But before we begin do me a favor will ya? Take your scimitar and just slit your own throat for me"; as you laugh at his suggestion you notice that your arm is uncontrollably lifting said scimitar and just slides it across your neck. Your character bleeds out as the boss utters "we didn't have to do this" in an utterly somber tone while the phrase"you're dead, stupid" is plastered along the screen, realizing he hit you with his mind control attack.


Sam Haram is for those who wish to be the final boss instead of the hero of their journey.
SmellsFargo 5 months ago 2
9
Scent
8
Longevity
8
Sillage
8
Bottle
Melconcholic joy
You're thrice divorced, currently in the middle of a loveless 4th with a mail in bride who has such utter contempt that she cannot even look you in the eye while she tugs your unclipped prick without being engulfed of a flame fueled by equal parts self hatred and shame.

You ask the bartender that you're in a first name basis with for another glass of whiskey, as he again mentions to you that "it's really hot in here man, you should really take off that leather jacket". Fuck that, this is shit is cool you think to yourself, holding onto the last shred of pride you have left.

The couple behind you are arguing, with the young lady screeching that she's tired of her lovers repeated infidelities. The bar is dimly lit, and you would have to squint and stare to get her age, but by the sound of her voice you can tell she was in her mid 20s. You smirk, as this is a trip down memory lane from marriage number 2. The argument ends as she dumps her drink all over the head of her Beau, with you receiving some spalshback damage, with the spirit trickling down on the rose in the front pocket of your jacket.

A prostitute puts her hand on your shoulder and caresses your 5o'clock shadow, you give a pause, you take a big sniff of the booze laden rose, and smile. You tell Quincy to put it on your tab and you make your way to the nearest dumpster for a passion filled 7 minutes.

The is The Whiskey Rose experience.
SmellsFargo 6 months ago 3
9
Scent
9
Longevity
8
Sillage
10
Bottle
Requiem for a midsummer's night dream
You wake up after a night of lucid dreaming where Rhianna doesn't turn you down and allows you to smell her farts. You remark to yourself that you never gave your bed the credit it deserves as it always takes care of you when it's time to have a chat with Mr. Sandman. After you stretch, you get up and notice neither your pet lion or US senator are in neither of their beds, so you go to walk outside and suffer a slight cut in your palm; you forgot to tell your slave to replace the missing diamond in your doorknob, so that's an extra beheading you have to look after.

You're annoyed as hell already and you've only been up 10 minutes, only to discover one of the members of your harem has the audacity to be menstruating; welp, another beheading you think to yourself. And to top that off, your wife asks you to give her some cunnilingus for her birthday, and you tearfully remind her that eating pussy is Haram, as you say your goodbyes as she pleads not to be sent to the gulags, you tell her what must be done will be done. As your life is falling into shambles, You open the patio doors and gaze upon the beauty of the seemingly endless amount of poppy seeds being harvested by your imported contractors *cough slaves cough*, and think you know what, times aren't so tough.

You later find yourself unwinding by sipping on a 300 year old congac crafted by the descendants of Blackbeard, after a long day of ordering 30 beheadings and the death of the infadels.


Turath finally wears off, and then I'm transported back to reality where I'm just living a normal existence, no stable of whores, no opulence, no fields of poppy to turn into opiates to fund my acts of terrorism; just normalcy.
SmellsFargo 11 months ago 2
8
Scent
7
Longevity
6
Sillage
8
Bottle
Almond sugar cookie
as i got this in, i tested it with a friend of mine, and we both came to the immediate conclusion: that it smells NOICE. it also doesnt smell like its note breakdown, as its actually kind of gourmandish, smelling like a freshly baked almond sugar pastry. but we differed on the intended audience, as i feel it definitely leans more femme, and she thinks it's more masculine.

speaking of the note breakdown, its not much, as its just magnolia, almond and hedione. its rich and light at the same time, its very floral and sugary as noted, its creamy and its got a surprising facet to it: its fresh too, so color me cucked. its pretty, and a little dainty.

i can see the similarities to pegasus though i think this is its own thing. this is not a room filler, but if the wind is blowing you will catch attention. longevity is good, not great, and the versatility is medium as this is definitely a daytime scent. as sweet as it is, it works well in the warm weather... damn this makes me feel pretty, not gonna lie.


so as i sit here in my Fenty boyshorts, sipping my white wine and listening to Whitney, i gotta say i enjoy this alot.


what?
SmellsFargo 1 year ago 3
9
Scent
10
Longevity
10
Sillage
8
Bottle
Real Gs move in silence like Mcgillicutty
what's in a name, really? to some, literally means nothing; while others find complete investment in the name alone. well I'm here to tell you that this is probably one of the most applicable names I've come across for any fragrance.

it's a fruity floral gourmand with a ton of different notes in it, and it's also very loud a soft spoken. have you ever heard someone trying to whisper but they're loud as fuck, so loud that it defeats the purpose and they might as well have just carried on with a regular conversation? well this fragrance does that same exact thing but in a good way.

it is so intensely sweet and floral that would enough sprays your choke your damn self out let alone those around you, but it's still manages to capture this air of softness, of tranquility. this shit is obviously subtle; an oxymoron basically is what I'm saying. some people think it means femme and I totally get why but for me it is totally unisex and anybody can pull it off.

it's a Nishane, so the projection and longevity is not in question. is it as loud as hacivat? hell no and thank goodness cuz I don't think anyone would be able to wear that and survive, BUT its plenty loud, so careful with the sprays. this is one of those bottles that you would call a tremendous value pound for pound, ounce per ounce because all you really need is four sprays Max. versatility on this is moderate, it's strong enough to survive the harshest Winters but not advise wearing this on any day that's above an 80.

an oh boy this is a tremendous base if you want to layer; later this and hacivat over each other and it is sugary green at its finest; I've layered this with Prada l'homme l'eau and its sweetness tones down a bit and the floral and peach shine more with a touch of powderiness: its tremendous really.

one of my favorites from this house, and top tier scent in general. my favorite aspect is that its a gourmand but a totally different profile than your standard coffee/cacao/cinnamon excursion.


im frolicking in the fields and feeling a 8.8/10
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