UniNoUta

One of the finest citruses I've put on my skin. Beautiful lush yuzu up front, but never tart - it's all oil, zest and blossoms, like someone tearing a piece of rind in front of you. You think, for a moment, it'll be one-note, but then that herbal undercurrent sneaks in - shiso and lavender most prominent to my nose - giving it the complexity to stay interesting. The quality is evident. Yowza. A subtle knockout.

My first whiff of this brought immediately to mind a very specific aroma - chestnut blossoms - which are pretty common in Japan so it did touch on the name a bit. Chestnut flowers are one of those things that many find smell like... how do I put this in a family-friendly way? Well... like male, er, "emissions" I guess. It's a slightly alkaline note that causes the association.

That aroma quickly integrates itself into the whole - now there's citrus, grapefruit yes, but not tart - that alkaline, along with the vanilla note of the amber, tames it, the way the vanilla in a Creamsicle reins in the orange. (Mind you, do not take that to mean this smells like a Creamsicle)

Despite the perfumer's description, I didn't find it "dark" at all. There's definitely something sexy and sensual about it, though in an atypical way - not the usual heavy musk and gourmand mix that makes you think "guy in a classic tuxedo drinking brandy" - to my nose, it's more playful-sexy, like showering together after a silly nooner you're both still giggling about.

Aquaman (the Jason Momoa version) is swimming back to his Atlantis apartment, but on his way gets distracted by some noises he hears from a century-old shipwreck. He goes down to explore, and after poking through the rotting, murky maze, it turns out some young Atlanteans have opened an exclusive speakeasy in one of the inner rooms. It's decked decked out with a fireplace and couches, and he settles in for a glass of fine ambergris-infused cognac, all the while flirting with the mermaid waitress. Being Aquaman, she can't resist his charms, and eventually he throws everyone else out of the room (you can do that when you're Aquaman) and the two go at it hot and heavy by the fire (which seems slightly dangerous for a mermaid, but whatever)

As they bask in the afterglow, Christophe Laudamiel shows up and scrapes the hot sex sweat off Aquaman, which he then mixes with alcohol and sells for $350 a pop.

You get a sample, and try it on. On you, a man, you think it's dank and sexy. You get lost in the aroma for a moment...

Until your girlfriend sits down next to you on the couch, sniffs, and tells you take a shower because you reek of armpit stank. And then it's there, and you can't unsmell it. And you realize that even Jason Momoa's armpit stank still smells like armpit stank.

The sea goes silent.

One day you had a long drive to take. You drank a big ol' coffee to wake yourself up. Somewhere down the highway, as expected, the urge to pee came on, and you pulled over at the nearest rest stop. There was a long line at the men's room though, so you went out into the woods and relieved yourself on a dry-rotted tree stump.

It's early August, and the stump sits there (well, where's it going to go?) for a rainless week before a male raccoon wanders by, fresh from a shopping trip to the rest area dumpster, fur matted with sticky-sweet dried soda, dragging a used baby diaper with him for some reason. It is high noon. It is hot. He is in the thick of heat, and sprays.

Put a frame around it. Dead of Night.

Not my favorite Laudamiel creation.

Very nice. The most tea-forward of the white bottle series. The quality is evident, but for something this minimalist - with only three ingredients... it ain't $350 nice. Like a less complex version of something from the CDG Monocle line. Only half the components at twice the price!